You know the scene. It’s breakfast time, on a school day, and there are 101 tasks to complete in an infinitesimally tiny timescale. Any deviation from breakfasts x3, showers x4, clean uniforms x3, lunchboxes packed x3, piano practised x3, singing practised x2, dog fed x1 & endless supply of tea will send this well timed operation clattering violently off course resulting in children 1 & 2 completing the walk of shame to sign the late book!

It is with this backdrop then, you’ll understand the routine does not allow for a pre breakfast hypo. This phenomena is, obviously, grim for the host to endure, but it does have the ability, more than any other timed hypo, to frustrate the usually placid & calm facilitator!

Pumplette wanders into the kitchen….
“Morning darling. I’ve made you some tea. What would you like for breakfast today? Your kit is over there. Would you mind checking your bloods before breakfast whilst I go & shower?”
“Ok!”

************interlude************

Me, (returning to kitchen), sees full breakfast bowl, still waiting for milk, on side. “Pumplette?!!” No answer came the reply.
Look in the sitting room to find Pumplette engrossed in German spelling homework.
“You ok?”
*squeaky voice fresh from the same stable as the ministry of silly walks!*
“I don’t know!”
“Did you check your bloods?”
*new voice from ministry of silly squawks*
“Yup!”
*Me, trying to remain reasonable*
“Are you low?”
*more daft voice work*
“Maybe. I may be 3.1”
*Straining to keep the irritation out of my voice*
“But you’ve had some lucozade?”
*ridiculous voice*
“I’m doing my German & I’ve got every single spelling right!”
*No pretence of calm. Full on irritation*
“It’s a spelling test, Pumplette. Not a copying one….
Please come & have your breakfast now.”
“But I’m looooooooooooww!”

*child in me starts to stamp feet*
I momentarily start to argue the toss, forgetting that this is a hypo where everything needs to be presented to the host, who’ll continue to look at you, utterly bemused, whilst you patiently cajole them into consumption!

I do try to remain calm, but when the accompanying background soundtrack to this scenario is another two girls faffing around looking for hairbrushes, tights, blazers, books, completed permission forms etc etc., it’s often beyond me!

Actually. Given all these things, it’s a wonder we ever manage to leave the house at all, never mind adhere to a deadline for school arrivals!!

Then of course, as I drop them at school, there’s always the final parting exchange….
“You’ve got you blood kit, haven’t you?”
Silence….

*repeats school run for a blood kit*